...the true confessions of mrs. olson...

I’ve been driving the same car since I turned 16, and even then, it was 7 years old. There’s a leak somewhere in the sunroof … the sunroof that cranks open to about a 15 degree angle when fully opened… so after in rains, it smells sort of like a hamster cage. Parts of the car have been repainted, so some panels are shiny black and the adjacent will be a dull grayish black. Somehow that translates to people as navy.(?) I put on a W '04 sticker to show my support in the Kerry sticker filled parking lot of UT. However, I often worry that other republicans see my car and wish i would remove it... cause it's bringing down their image.
Recently my old friend has begun a new list of old-car symptoms. 1. can’t change gears for several miles…When I pull out of my apartment complex, I get to watch as cars zoom around me being sure to give a good, hard look at the girl who just pulled out onto a busy street, but can’t seem to make it over 10 mph for the next 6 miles. 2. rumbles, shakes, and lurches at stoplights. I get a horrible sense of dread at the color yellow. When I stop at a light for longer than 30 seconds, I have to stop a full car length behind the last person because my car begins to shake violently, make a coughing noise, and lurches forward. 3. makes a machine gun noise at random, inconvenient times. A few months ago I got the pleasure of watching the lady in front of me at a stoplight physically jump in her seat and look in her rear view mirror with sheer terror at the jarring rat-tat-tat coming from under my hood. I now fantasize about seeing her face if I could have only been carrying a toy machine gun with a crazed look in my eye. Hmmm….

Final thought: It truly is a luxury to get in you car and know that it will start, to accelerate at a normal length of time, to have keyless entry, to have a sunroof that slides – not cranks, to be able to stop close behind a car at a stoplight, to have doors and panels all the same color, etc. Be thankful.