so... i wrote a whole "i'm going to be an aunt" blog...but after 2 "Safari has unexpectedly quit" messages, I gave up. I have a love/hate relationship with my mac.

Here is the general idea of the last one:
I'm super psyched about Suzanne being "with child". I compared it to the way I felt and her wedding. I was like the co-star that was still in all the good scenes... I just didn't get to say any lines. With the new little James... I'll be like the next closest thing to it's mom (as we're practically fraternal twins, born 3 years and 364 days apart). ... just without the stretchmarks.

I left school at 11:30 today ...because i had a headache all night and this morning. I feel okay now... but setting up for a sub was more trouble than it was worth. I'm trying to get some wedding planning done in my spare time. I need to find a videographer... but everyone I've talked to is already booked for June 24th.

Well great...
You know that feeling when you think you're the best driver in the world... then something happens to put you in your place. Umm... that just happened to me BIG TIME! I had left my school at 5:30... being a responsible adult with my brand new real adult job. So I was driving along... well inching along... on I35, when I spotted a car to my right that I like. As you all know... I do have my sights set on getting a new car. (Although, Jeff thinks I should wait until I have to push mine into the junkyard.) Traffic started moving, so I accelerated a bit... and went back to look at the name of the car. 2 seconds pass and I look back ahead to see the tail lights of a stopped truck. I slammed on my breaks, but It was too late. So... I had to step out of my car on I35 (my worst social nightmare) to see his bumper bent down and mine bent in. Just a minor fender bender, whose only injury was a horrific cut on my hand given by the nails on my other hand during my seizure-like reaction to the tail lights. As if my poor old car hasn't been through enough. It must just want to go die peacefully alone on a farm or salvage lot... but I keep it's last days action packed. Well, I have to go call the guy because I gave him expired insurance information... and I don't want to be dragged from my classroom and hauled to the slammer tomorrow.

YAY!!! jeff is on a plane back home right now! it sure is a good thing he lives here and i never had to have a long distance relationship... because that boy has no inflection in his voice. his 'i miss you too' -on the phone... sounds like 'um...i wish you'd stop calling me'- in my head. it's a good thing he's coming back tonight or i'd really be a basketcase. i think i'm breaking out in hives because i can't wait for his plane to get in. so... i went to the bridal extravaganza with my mom today. it is pretty much completely worthless, but with 12$ admission - somebody is making a killing off of that thing. i wish i had thought of it. i found a photographer that i might like and got to eat some cake samples. now... i'm just killing time waiting to pick jeffrey up from the airport.

about the photo: this is jeff playing football in high school back in Minnesota. isn't he dreamy!? although... i do worry about his safety playing without a helmet.

Jeff’s been in Florida for 5 days so far… and still has 3 more to go. I’ve never been so homesick for a person so much… can you be homesick for a person? Its like an ache… that I get whenever I think about him and realize he’s far away. I don’t function the same without him. Call it co-dependency if you must... but I don’t care….I love him and it’s not fun for him to be gone for 8 days.

This is what I thought about all day…I love his blue/green eyes. I love how he says the /o/ phoneme. I love his blackish jeans. I love his skater shoes. I love that he has a tattoo. I love that he loves his family. I love the way he wakes up early and drinks coffee with my dad when we’re at home. I love that he loves Bono so much. I love that he burns c.d.s for Suzanne and me. I love that he likes to give thoughtful gifts. I love that even though I talked about it all the time… he was still nervous when he proposed. I love his freakishly long feet. I love the way he walks. I love when he laughs hard and silently. I love that he’ll eat anything. I love the way he looks when he’s formulating something funny to say in his head. I love the way he smells. I love when he calls me his little partner. I love when he plays the guitar. I love when he calls when I’m talking to someone else and his little head pops up on the phone. I could go on for days.

About the picture: I one time phoned Jeff frantically because I was subbing and thought that I had forgot to turn my straightening iron off. So he came over… to find that it was in fact OFF… and still spelled out ‘but I love you’ in m&m’s on my counter. The ants were very appreciative of the gesture as well.

Today was my first day as a real live teacher. It was a rough day. Is it just me or have kids turned really bratty these days? I’m positive that when I was in the second grade. I never asked my teacher what SHE was going to do about it, if I was asked what I was going to do to improve my behavior. Ugh. Then again, my teacher never responded with blatant sarcasm to any of my responses. ‘yeah… that’s a great idea to poke that paper clip through that eraser instead of doing your math assignment. You’ll be in the GT class in no time!!’ ... “It makes me feel AWESOME when you mimic what I’m saying to that kid next to you!”.... ‘Ummm…. yeah, keep doing what you’re doing … because when I am doing something else, I automatically become deaf and blind!”
Why do I have to collect crap, like old stuffed animals and mardi gras beads,to give these kids anytime they take a break from acting like monkeys just set loose in a second grade classroom….When they should be acting like that all the time? Everyone has said to threaten them with a call home… but since I have an irrational fear of calling people...really that is more of a punishment to me.

About the picture: These two precious kids are from the Kindergarten class that I interned in at UT. I miss them.

Last year at this time… I was friends with several people that I don’t even talk to anymore. (picture to right... 1/1/05) I was just beginning my student teaching and driving to campus every week. I had only met Jeff and been around him a couple of times with no clue that he was my soul mate. My how things can change… and i.’m so glad they do!

Since we were really little … my parents always made us set goals so that we could look back on them. I wish I could find the record of what I felt I needed to improve on at age 9… probably like 1. be nicer to my sister 2. make my bed 3. record several parody newscasts with the family video camera, etc.

Well anyway…
Here are my 2006 goals:
1. Lose 10-15 pounds before the wedding
2. do crunches 3-5 times a week (or at least as many times to excuse my paying $20 for an ab-roller today)
3. drink only 3-5 cokes per week
4. be less critical, look for good in people
5. have a quiet time every day
6. finish my children’s book and find out more about publishing

I’ve been driving the same car since I turned 16, and even then, it was 7 years old. There’s a leak somewhere in the sunroof … the sunroof that cranks open to about a 15 degree angle when fully opened… so after in rains, it smells sort of like a hamster cage. Parts of the car have been repainted, so some panels are shiny black and the adjacent will be a dull grayish black. Somehow that translates to people as navy.(?) I put on a W '04 sticker to show my support in the Kerry sticker filled parking lot of UT. However, I often worry that other republicans see my car and wish i would remove it... cause it's bringing down their image.
Recently my old friend has begun a new list of old-car symptoms. 1. can’t change gears for several miles…When I pull out of my apartment complex, I get to watch as cars zoom around me being sure to give a good, hard look at the girl who just pulled out onto a busy street, but can’t seem to make it over 10 mph for the next 6 miles. 2. rumbles, shakes, and lurches at stoplights. I get a horrible sense of dread at the color yellow. When I stop at a light for longer than 30 seconds, I have to stop a full car length behind the last person because my car begins to shake violently, make a coughing noise, and lurches forward. 3. makes a machine gun noise at random, inconvenient times. A few months ago I got the pleasure of watching the lady in front of me at a stoplight physically jump in her seat and look in her rear view mirror with sheer terror at the jarring rat-tat-tat coming from under my hood. I now fantasize about seeing her face if I could have only been carrying a toy machine gun with a crazed look in my eye. Hmmm….

Final thought: It truly is a luxury to get in you car and know that it will start, to accelerate at a normal length of time, to have keyless entry, to have a sunroof that slides – not cranks, to be able to stop close behind a car at a stoplight, to have doors and panels all the same color, etc. Be thankful.